isak looms large over hostile st. james’ park, liverpool escapes with all three points
the hit
"Elephant,” Tame Impala (2012)
Well, he feels like an elephant,
shaking his big grey trunk for the hell of it
He knows that you're dreamin'
about being loved by him
Too bad your chances are slim
the context
This offseason, Newcastle strengthened a few areas of their attack with the additions of winger Anthony Elanga from Nottingham Forest and midfielder Jacob Ramsey from Aston Villa. But with the sale of second-choice nine Callum Wilson to West Ham, and early rumors of star striker Alexander Isak desperate for a big move, the club had a clear hole to fill in the center forward position. Here’s who they’ve targeted during the summer transfer window.
Matheus Cunha, Bryan Mbeumo, and Benjamin Sesko, who all signed for Manchester United (United finished last campaign in 15th place with a league record of 11-9-18).
Joao Pedro and Liam Delap, who preferred Chelsea (Delap happy to deputize Chelsea’s forward line rather than join the Geordies).
Mohamed Kudus, who chose Tottenham.
Yoane Wissa and Jorgen Strand Larsen. Bids have been turned away repeatedly by Brentford and Wolves, respectively.
Hugo Ekitike, who, of course, signed for Liverpool — after the Reds had a record bid of £110 million plus add-ons denied for Isak. “You want Ekitike, then accept our Isak bid,” was Liverpool’s clear stance. Newcastle declined.
During this astounding sequence of swings and misses (longtime goalkeeping target James Trafford signed for Man City as well), Isak went on strike, his camp maintaining Newcastle leadership promised he could leave this summer. Newcastle’s PR team has vehemently denied this, though Eddie Howe admitted he and the player discussed his future. The biggest journalists and transfer specialists have made it clear that, even after he met with Saudi Arabian chairman Yasir Al-Rumayyin, Isak has no intentions of lacing up for anyone other than Liverpool. He didn’t go on Newcastle’s preseason tour and isn’t training.
Not only Newcastle fans, but also some “neutral” members of the media have fanned the flames of conspiracy. Liverpool’s approach for Isak was underhanded. Our £110 million bid was a disgrace because it didn’t meet Newcastle’s obscene £150 million valuation. We’re purposefully destabilizing their team. We’ve orchestrated a disgraceful sit-in, the likes of which has never been in football history. Isak, meanwhile, is a greedy brat, a selfish liar. Let him rot in the reserves.
The reality is Newcastle doesn’t have a permanent sporting director and the club doesn’t know what it’s doing — how to recruit, how to negotiate, how to conduct business without hanging Eddie Howe out to dry as he tries to focus on coaching. The Newcastle side of the story perpetuates a fable in which clubs never have contact with players from other teams before bidding for them. It omits the part where their first two bids for Wissa were well under Brentford’s valuation (which is fine, by the way — that’s how arriving at a business deal works). It fails to mention that it’s possible, if not highly likely, recently departed sporting directors Dan Ashworth and Paul Mitchell, or financier Amanda Stavely, could have played a part in the “promises.”
It’s been a nightmare summer for Newcastle supporters, Liverpool are the reigning champions, and their best player wants to play for us. They’re very, very pissed off. And even level-headed, match-going Newcastle fans — never mind the psychos from the bleakest corners of social media — were willing to buy into the narrative that, at least at 8pm Monday night, it’s us they should be pissed off at.
There was no way to know for sure, but it felt like the buildup to the game would translate into chaos at St. James’ Park. As the players took to the field, the camera panned to show two banners among the hordes of Newcastle fans. The first read, “Nothing is achieved alone. We are a city. A whole population. We are Newcastle United.” The second, simply: “Get into them,” painted messily in all caps.
8/25 | Premier league | newcastle 2, liverpool 3
Lineup: Alisson, Szoboszlai, Konate, Van Dijk, Kerkez, Gravenberch, Jones, Wirtz, Salah, Gakpo, Ekitike. Conor Bradley and Joe Gomez were both fit enough for a spot on the bench. Alexis Mac Allister missed out after an injury setback in training — Slot has since said he’s hopeful he’ll be available for Arsenal on Sunday.
It took Joelinton 87 seconds to kick Cody Gakpo in the head. Maybe Gakpo was stooping a little to head the ball. Maybe Joelinton didn’t see him. Fair enough, no booking. But you knew it was going to get worse when you realized Simon Hooper of Tottenham Away, 23/24 infamy was the ref on the day. He was even outfitted with a nipple-like “Refcam” so the broadcast could access his on-field perspective. A futile and stupid touch from our guys at the PGMOL and Premier League, but a fitting one given the first half was ultimately The Simon Hooper Show. At 45 minutes plus stoppage, that’s more than double the length of the average sitcom!
The Newcastle crowd bayed and booed every Liverpool touch in the early stages, though the ball rarely touched the ground. When we finally got it down and looked to break via Florian Wirtz, he took Kieran Trippier’s raised studs to the top of the foot as he released Cody Gakpo. Trippier was well within his rights to go for the bouncing ball but got there late. Van Dijk had a quick word with Hooper, who smiled sheepishly and kept his card in his pocket.
Shortly after, Bruno Guimaraes cut out a pass from Ryan Gravenberch, who lunged in an attempt to win it back. Guimaraes stepped across the incoming tackle and Gravenberch’s trailing leg brought him down. Bruno rolled around in agony like he’d been shot in the gut and Liverpool went in the book first, to the crowd’s delight.
It was notable that when Newcastle committed to actually playing, they created the better chances. Their first one of quality came through Elanga, who pulled a perfect ball back across the six. Szoboszlai, forced into a cameo at right back, covered the space brilliantly — his first moment of impact in an incredible performance. During this passage of play, though, Gordon secured the second ball and baited Dom into giving him a reason to fall over on the edge of the box. No contact, but a perfectly timed dive as Szoboszlai got too tight. Luckily, Tonali got the set piece horribly wrong.
The resulting throw-in led to a high clearance. Eyes on the ball, Ekitike outmuscled Schar in a routine tussle, turned to counter attack, and Hooper blew the whistle for another free kick. You could read Van Dijk’s lips perfectly as he pled for consistency: “Both sides. Both sides. Both sides.” Newcastle took the free kick short and Guimaraes undercooked his first-time cross, which was easily headed up and away by Ekitike. Getting in position to settle the ball, Salah went shoulder to shoulder with Livramento, who also hit the deck. Hooper blew the whistle again and Newcastle blew the free kick, again.
Hooper awarded against 15 fouls by the 25’ mark, nine against Liverpool — the most they’ve ever conceded in the opening 25 minutes of a Premier League game. With the endless breaks in play, the likes of our front three had next to no opportunities to combine, to get in any sort of flow. For the first time, Ekitike seemed to struggle with the speed and intensity of the opposition for stretches, holding the ball a bit too long and misplacing passes. The same has to be said for Wirtz, who nonchalantly gave the ball away for one of two big Anthony Gordon opportunities. Our backline held strong for the most part. Alisson and Van Dijk martialed play, cut out danger, dealt with crosses expertly, and slowed things down whenever possible. Only Ibou Konate stood out as a poor performer. He had trouble containing Gordon, once forced to pull him down and take a yellow, and Newcastle’s press singled him out when he was in possession. Tonali nearly made him pay for a giveaway but the counter came to nothing.
When the madness finally relented for a few minutes and we were able to advance the ball into Newcastle’s half, Howe called off the press and set them up in banks of five to clog play. We coped with this much more effectively. Ironically, when Curtis Jones danced through challenges to the far left side of the box and Guimaraes committed a carbon copy of the fouls given on Ekitike and Salah, Hooper swallowed his whistle, which allowed Gakpo to find Gravenberch. He pulled from distance, squeezing his shot between Guimaraes’ legs and into the bottom corner.
Goals change games. After looking like the better team and seeing everything go their way for 35 minutes, everyone in a striped jersey was suddenly dejected, and we used this to our advantage to craft our best move and most clear-cut chance of the half. Knowing Trippier was too short to reach it, Gakpo let a deep ball clear the right back’s head, brought it down, and drove through the heart of Newcastle’s final third before finding Salah. Salah took the ball first time and delivered a world-class cross with a touch of English between the penalty spot and the six. The onrushing Jones timed his run perfectly but couldn’t sort his feet out in time to make contact. Salah flapped his arms in disgust.
The Simon Hooper Show reached its obvious climax on exactly 45’. When your game plan is to break up play, prioritizing aggression over playing the actual sport, there’s a tipping point. Just as Van Dijk released a long ball, Gordon ran him down and raked his studs down his calf. Hooper, unsurprisingly, gave him a yellow on the field. Then VAR intervened and he was rightfully sent off before the teams headed to the locker rooms.
Before I’d settled back into my chair for the second half, the commentary team bellowed Ekitike’s name. A Salah flick had found Wirtz, whose early ball into space set Ekitike on a strong run with Tonali hanging all over him. He held him off and gave the ball to Gakpo, who let fly, had his shot blocked, and squared it back to Ekitike at the top of the area. His finish was unerring, side-footed powerfully into the bottom left corner, kissing the post. The Newcastle fans had booed him throughout the opening period and now booed him again, just with a little less conviction. Ekitike barely celebrated, only nodded and embraced his teammates as they swarmed him. The goal had taken just 21 seconds. His third in his first three games.
As of 46’, we were up a man and two goals thanks to calmness at the right times, some luck, and a few moments of class. Ekitike’s haymaker extinguished nearly all of the hope Howe may have instilled at halftime. Newcastle’s midfield three looked like they were on the verge of losing it. Joelinton somehow avoided a yellow for dissent. Guimaeres didn’t avoid a yellow for dissent. Tonali pushed Ekitike in the back after a soft foul, which Ekitike laughed about as he jogged off. It was as good of a place as we could have hoped to be in. Just keep the ball as well as you can and let them implode, I thought.
But 2-0 is the most dangerous lead, and goals change games.
Set pieces and long throw-ins remained Newcastle’s only realistic lifelines. On 57’, Gravenberch headed away Livramento’s long throw straight back out to him. He gathered and clipped a simple looping ball to the back post, where the diminutive Guimaeres ran onto it. Kerkez was there to meet him, only instead of jumping with him to challenge for the header, he crouched, facing Alisson in the goal, and tried to box him out basketball style. This did not work and Guimaraes maneuvered around him to nod home. This very bad, non-traditional defending from Kerkez was a sliding doors moment we really could have done without.
It’s not hyperbole when I say the next half hour was one of the most shocking half hours I’ve ever seen Liverpool play. If not for the brilliance of Van Dijk and Alisson, heading away and catching nearly every ball that entered our box, plus Szoboszlai, who was exceptional on the cover, we could’ve conceded three more. Newcastle ramped up the pressure with corner after corner, long throw after long throw, pinning us back. We became so accustomed to huddling in our own box to defend a long ball that when we actually got the opportunity to keep the ball on the floor, it’s like we didn’t know what to do. Nothing our front three tried seemed to come off. We forced needless passes, gave away needless free kicks. We allowed the breaks in play that lost us our mojo in the first half and completely negated our one-man advantage.
Bradley and Chiesa came on for Wirtz and Ekitike at the 80’ mark. Bradley’s first real contribution came in the form of a yellow for stopping a counter attack on 87’. Pope came forward to take the free kick from the middle of his own half, and at the behest of the Liverpool staff, Virgil set our defensive line comically high, about 40 yards from goal. Pope whacked it forward toward 6’ 6” Dan Burn, over all of our players except Ibou. His challenge for the header was weak, the ball bounced kindly off his back into the path of Newcastle sub Osula, and he poked it past Alisson to tie the game. No fancy picks or set piece routine. Just a big ball over the top that no one dealt with.
The thing is, we couldn’t kick and scream about conceding such a despicable equalizer — even at 88’, there was too much time left. Injuries to Joelinton, Tonali, and Schar led the fourth official to add 11 minutes of stoppage time. More than enough time to defend an onslaught of more long throw-ins… or even go on and grab an undeserved winner.
At 90 + 6’, Slot brought on Harvey for Curtis and played a card he hadn’t since preseason, giving the nod to 16-year-old Rio Ngumoha in place of Gakpo. His first involvement was positive, going past Guimaeres and testing the resolve of Livramento with a dribble down the left. His next involvement was slightly better.
99:36: Konate rolls a short pass to Elliott; Elliott touches it to Gravenberch; Gravenberch plays it first-time to Bradley; Bradley takes a touch and plays Chiesa inside; Chiesa takes a touch and finds Salah on the right side of the box, Salah squares it first-time through the box to Szoboszlai; Szoboszlai dummies it. The ball rolls across the penalty spot to Ngumoha, unmarked. Time stands still. He runs onto it, no prep touch, and unleashes an effort into the side netting. Pope doesn’t even move. Rio flies to the corner and is ambushed by his teammates. Every Newcastle fan in sight has their hands on their heads, over their mouths, or holding up two fingers.
“You lucky, lucky Red Men,” Jamie Carragher said in the Sky Sports studio. “Oh my God. Football.”
After one last stand at our end, the final whistle went. Rio Ngumoha, Liverpool’s youngest ever goalscorer, had saved our asses.
looking ahead to arsenal: 8/31, 4:30PM est
We’ve thrown away back-to-back two-goal leads in our first two league games and gotten away with it. If we throw away a lead against Arsenal, odds are we’ll drop points.
Kerkez is still learning at 21, and still adapting to a new system at Liverpool, but his decision-making has to improve. Odds are he’ll get the nod over Robertson again to deal with Arsenal’s pace out wide. Saka will be out, but their reinforcements are dangerous.
Konate’s start to this season has been chalk and cheese compared to last, when he looked like one of the best center backs on the planet. He just needs to put in a 7/10 performance. A solid outing against Gyokeres would do him wonders.
Bradley should slot back in at RB. Szoboszlai is undroppable at the moment and should retake his typical spot in midfield.
Our vulnerability from set pieces has to be a concern. Rice is the league’s current dead ball master.
We need to establish a rhythm in our play without getting caught too often on the break. This was where we fell short against Bournemouth.
If we find ourselves in need of a goal with 20 minutes or less, I don’t see how Ngumoha isn’t a serious option off the left. It’s not just his dream debut that has earned him the consideration — it’s his performances in preseason. He’s a genuine threat and every Liverpool fan in Anfield will be on the edges of their seats if he steps on the field.