DICTIONARY

English English, perhaps Scouse most of all, can be hard to follow. Here are terms I’ve picked up over years of broadcasts and podcasts, and how you might interpret them if you come across them yourself.

belter

Something fantastic.
What an absolute belter of a strike.

boss

Commanding, impressive, generally amazing.
New away kit is boss. The retro badge — sexy!

can’t be arsed

Couldn’t care less.
When it comes to defending the back post, Trent Alexander-Arnold can’t be arsed.

chalk and cheese

Polar opposites.
Luka Modric and Harry Maguire are chalk and cheese when it comes to footballing style.

chokka

Busy; crowded.
The streets of Liverpool were chokka with rampant fans when we won our 20th league title.

cut the mustard

Meet expectations; get the job done.
For a striker with so much potential, Darwin’s end product never cut the mustard.

donut

A complete moron.
“Can’t afford a summer spending spree? We only spent 14 million quid last year, you donut,” wrote the disgruntled X user.

ecky-tecky

A common Scouse mispronunciation of French striker Hugo Ekitike’s surname (eh-kee-tee-kay).
Ecky-Tecky has those go-go-gadget legs. Just look at the size of the lad.

gaff

One’s home, or a general location.
We’re watching the game over at my gaff if you wanna swing by.

give it the [Absolute] beans

Do one’s best.
He’s no Thiago in terms of skill, but Wataru Endo always gives it the absolute beans. Hence the mouth guard.

give your head a wobble

Think more rationally.
Are you wearing Hey Dudes? Give your head a wobble, son.

grab the game by the scruff of the neck

Take control of the game.
When the team is struggling, you can count on Szobo to grab the game by the scruff of the neck with his engine and natural leadership.

had him on toast

Dominated or dribbled past one’s defender, typically several times.
Hate to say it, but Saka had Robbo on toast there.

have a cob on

Be grumpy or upset.
We surrendered the two-goal lead and I had a cob on for the rest of the day.

kecks

Pants.
If Mbappe was running at me, I’d be shittin’ me kecks, too!

make a [right] pig’s ear of

Mess something up.
He found himself through on goal, but went for the cheeky dink and made a right pig’s ear of the finish.

melt

Someone who is overly emotional or dramatic.
Rolling around on the floor again, eh, Odegaard? Pull yourself together, ye melt.

nick

Condition; shape.
For a lad who’s just returned from a torn ACL, he looks in great nick — bloody hell!

poorly

Sick; ill.
Heard Van Dijk’s been poorly, which is why he’s not in the 11 tonight.

Rock up

Arrive.
He rocked up to the game after eight pints and spent the full 90 yelling at the linesman.

sent him for the echo

A reference to the Liverpool Echo newspaper; tricking a defender into going one way (presumably to retrieve said paper) then taking the ball the other way.
With one swivel of the hips, Gravenberch spun Caicedo, sending him for the Echo.

[Dead] sound

Of solid character or quality.
He didn’t want the rest of his hot dog, so he gave it to me. What a dead sound fella.

TA

Thank you.
Ta, lad. See ya later.

Top whack

Top dollar; the highest possible amount.
Saudi clubs have shown they’re more than willing to pay top whack for reputable players.

welly

Make firm contact with; kick forcefully.
Doucoure couldn’t match Mac Allister’s ability, so he spent the entire game wellying him up and down the pitch.

wool

Someone who lives outside of Liverpool.
You’re not a real Scouser. You’re a wool, you.